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  • Writer's pictureIrekZareba

Do This Next Time You Find Yourself Blaming!

Updated: Jun 10, 2023

Say “Hi” to Your Inner Critic!

Have you ever felt like you are riding your life, living in the flow, everything comes to you effortlessly, you have that wish so this moment lasts forever but then next event, another day or challenging week and it's all over?

Then you try to blame circumstances or people for your loss? Or perhaps yourself when you finally found that guilty one within you?

Let’s say “Hi” to your Inner Critic!

Not everything always goes according to the plan and it never will. And that is absolutely OK.

All the external events are out of our control as they are based on various conditions which are usually out of our hands. Even if you are a parent, the outcome for your child is still not entirely predictable despite how great a plan you could draw and put into action.

I do not have children but I used to be one like everyone else.

And I remember following my parents' will and I also remember when I did not.

This clear distinction between what we can control and not is very important for our mental and emotional health. In those moments our attention should be placed inside and closely monitor our inner space - emotions and thoughts, as this is the only environment in which you can be truly in charge!

The special attention needs to go to our Inner Critic! When it's in charge, we judge and blame!

What to Do? It's Time to Experiment!

There is something powerful you can do and what always works - I learnt thanks to the Human Potential Institute. You do not have to believe me, but I encourage you to check it for yourself!

Next time you find yourself blaming, say “Hi, I see you and I accept you”- this is where the magic happens! In the moment of seeing it, now you have a chance to cut right through that voice. Also, you are able in that moment to take full ownership for the action you take that follows - be the one who is responsible for it! See how you feel and proceed with grace.

Then next time for the contrary, do the usual stuff out of your compulsive behavior - go ahead and blame others or beat yourself up for what you have done (or have not) and see how this works for you.

I do not know how you, but I do not find blaming particularly productive, does not serve us or solve anything at all. It's far better to invest that energy back into yourself and use it for the needs of the present moment aka. do what is important for you, enjoy the process and ride your life back again - responsibly!

Hope you will find it useful. And when next time you see your inner critic please do not forget to let me know your choice.

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