Why do I want to talk about this?
I lived in deep fear. My level of anxiety was huge. I used to have panic attacks - countless times. I clearly remember those days. Also remember that I did not want to share anything about this “new reality” with anybody, for two main reasons.
Firstly, I did not want to worry my family - for “no” reason.
Secondly I did not want to be seen as “weak” as what those around me remembered me mostly about - the “happy” lad. This image I gained from pursuing false happiness - with “help” of drugs and alcohol.
Why false you may ask? My definition was solely based on what I could see outside in others - everyone I knew was doing the same thing. I thought this must be a way!
The voice from inside had never been heard. And still after ending up at the hospital in an intensive care room, I did not dare to challenge my beliefs around what actually happened to me and why?
Instead, I was still protecting my secret as if that was the only thing I was caring about - to maintain my image I had created over the years!
From today's perspective it is obvious that with such an attitude I was only inviting more attacks to come - and they were coming endlessly, one after the other…
What in fact I was doing was fighting with my own experience. My thoughts against the actuality of the situation! That suppression only made the attacks stronger. Still, I was pretending as if they were not mine. Telling myself something between the lines “soon they will go away, so I can play my role again” and “others keep doing it even more vigorously and frequently, and they are fine, so it had to be only a pure accident”.
The breakthrough came at the time when I could not pretend anymore. It happened when I was visiting home for the first time after my incident in hospital. I had a very intense attack then as never before. Today, I understand that I tried to resist with all my effort this particular one - next to my parents!
I went to total war with my experience. It was so strong that they had to call an ambulance.
My mask I was carrying till then - melted finally. I surrendered. The truth was revealed and I did not need to play my role anymore. In that moment I also began to sense feelings from my parents - they were worrying of course, but also I felt a much stronger feeling of parental love and tenderness.
This was very real as opposed to those all fake stories I was breathing in prior to this moment!
Somewhat new for me and very powerful at the same time!
That moment changed my life forever and I am so grateful for it! Firstly, I have made the decision to take charge of my well being and heal myself naturally across all aspects of my life - physically, mentally, emotionally and most importantly spiritually! And yes, there is no pill for it!
Secondly, I also understood that the only person who can help me in that moment is me - that permission to change has to come from within!
This is how my inner-transformational journey began till now.
I still had a few attacks afterwards occasionally but not very strong anymore.
When you stop feeding the mind with “scary” stuff, they have no option but to cease.
Ultimately you just know that they are only products of your mind…
Now, as a Freedom Coach I support others and walk them through this entire process of self-discovery and healing!
What I have learnt in recent years is how life unfolds moment by moment with an abundance of possibilities for you once you give yourself permission to change and seek from your heart!
How life - all the good and bad - is only guiding you through the process, so you can discover who you truly are and what needs to be done in order to get where you want to go!
And when you surrender to life finally, see what is already here and what is possible for you in a limitless way!
So what would be my message to You?
Do Not - RESIST - Never go to war with your own experience. It will only make the situation worse. Remember that everything starts in the mind. So rather watch carefully how you feed your mind in the first place.
Do - ACCEPT - Always welcome your experience, however “bad” it might be! It's just feedback from your body that you are resisting inside your mind to something. This is nothing but your actuality which in that moment cannot be changed. I strongly encourage you for the purpose of self-discovery and healing to meet your experience directly and sink down through them! Only then you have a chance to work this out for yourself and change it forever if that is your wish. In that very present moment of being with yourself you have a real opportunity to see clearly what is arising and let it flow through and out of you. Your freedom is not far, it's right there, waiting for you.
Do Not - FEED YOUR MIND with WRONG STUFF. When you constantly worry about what might happen to you, you “attract” that future to come. When this type of thoughts goes through your mind, you only rehearsing those events - it is becoming a self fulfilling prophecy at the end, where you actively create an environment inside of your body with hormones and chemicals. That triggers emotional reactions you do not really want. At the end, it is entirely up to you how you processing anything that's in front of you - “where focus goes, energy flows!”.
So mind your mind! Shift your attention to something you love doing and actually do it!
Do - FOCUS on RIGHT STUFF - Same process applies to the opposition. Tony Robbins used to say, “wrong is always available, so it is right”. To heal, we need to actively get in charge of our thought process and attract your bright future, by visualizing the success. What is important to understand is that this is a process. It require your patience and willingness to do it. Your brain needs to literally rewire to establish new connections (process of myelination in nerves) in order to operate in such a way so you can start to see things differently. For that consistency in your practice is needed. Visualization is my daily ritual.
But what to do when the next attack still occurs? (this strategy I learnt from my mentor dr. Mark Atkinson)
Next time an anxiety/panic attack comes, say to it “I am pleased you are here!” and take a deep breath in. Feel it in your heart, fill yourself up with this tenderness - you can place your hands there as if you want to cuddle yourself. Pause there for a while and experience it fully. Notice as peace comes in that spaciousness. Allow this peace to grow and expand within you. However, if you still feel that you are resisting/fighting your experience, say it once “I am resisting peace and freedom”. Let the peace flood your experience!
Then if that is your wish to go one step further, from this free, peaceful space give yourself permission and ask the question: What am I resisting towards? What am I not facing?
Then, let the answer come from your heart - do not rush your head for it!
Do not easily give up if it does not work for the first time. With all the patience of the world keep practicing it. It will require your full permission - your willingness to open up to the new possibility and curiosity what it actually can do for you.
I am curious how this strategies work for you? What do you find most challenging part in your daily life? Please let me what works for you and what does not, so feel free to share your experience in comments below.
Wish you great success in your inner-journey - Always!!!
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